By ZACH NOBLE
I think my wife is face blind.
She, having pretty good taste in movies, is usually a fun film-watching buddy, but when we watched Black Hawk Down the other day I realized the dramatic extent of her impairment.
So we sat down, I showed her some Hollywood hotties and asked her to provide their names, and now I'm sharing the hunky pictures with you, dear reader, because that's what the internet is for: sharing.
"...Matt Damon?" (more hesitantly this time)
"The Bad Guy from Jurassic Park"
"Or is that not him? You know, he has the sunken-in eyes, long teeth, looks Polish."
"Young Tom Cruise"
Tom Hardy (pictured below, as far as my wife is concerned)
Hardy is definitely in Black Hawk Down, but my wife still isn't sure. I pointed him out every single time he appeared on screen, and she never once recognized him, despite having watched the new Mad Max just a few weeks prior.
So, anyway, what we're trying to say is marriage is great.
Zach Noble is a Georgetown law student and former journalist. He tweets erratically as @thezachnoble.